E is for Everything

Trying to think of a single 'E' word to write about just cannot be done.

My name: Ellen, is top of mind.

Enticing.

Enveloping.

Enriching.

Endearing.

Energizing.

Encouraging.

These are all really positive words.

They all start with 'en.' Looking at Dictionary.com, I found the following:

en-1: a prefix occurring originally in loanwords from French and productive in English on this model, forming verbs with the general sense “to cause (a person or thing) to be in” the place, condition, or state named by the stem; more specifically, “to confine in or place on” ( enshrine; enthrone; entomb );  “to cause to be in” ( enslave; entrust; enrich; encourage; endear )...

Well, let's just wrap this up by saying: E is for Most Excellent Letter of the Alphabet.
A little bunny told me so....

D Is For Dream

My dreams are colorful and meaningful.

My last technicolor dream:

I was at the veterinarian’s office. I brought in my little cat in a carrier. The cat got out and was running around the office along with other cats. I could not find my cat. I asked the vet and staff for help. They kept bringing me cats that were not my cat.

What is even more disturbing was the fact that there was a dead 

horse 

on the floor in one of the examining rooms. I am pretty sure this 

was 

my horse and that the staff wanted me to see it.

Back to reality: I had had a recent dream that had the same horse on the same floor in the same examining room.

Back to second dream: Someone had prepared an elaborate hand-drawn storyboard of the room and its contents with at least ten frames, for me to see to prepare myself for seeing the dead horse.

I told them: I already saw it. Someone went to a lot of work to prepare me for what I had already seen or known.

And then the missing cat – by the end of the dream, it was still missing within the vet's office.

So, now for the meaning. According to Dream Moods:

“To see a dead horse in your dream indicates that something in your life that initially offered you strength is now gone. This may refer to a relationship or situation. Consider the phrase "beating a dead horse" to indicate that you may have maximized the usefulness of a certain circumstance.” 

At first, a dead horse in my dream was utterly shocking and peculiar. Then I read the interpretation. A friend that should have been let go of long ago, a job I had long outgrown, an activity I kept showing up for, but did not enjoy. That dead horse was not so strange after all.

C Is For Cold

Cold is a noun. We hate catching a cold and suffering through it.

Cold is an adjective. Todd gave you the cold shoulder. Cindy is a cold person. They have little affection.

And when cold is a feeling, I turn up the heat.

Cold is an adverb, as in Judy quit her job cold,

or she learned her speech cold.

I have had a cold, felt the people's coldness

and been cold to others. And I am generally 

cold and sitting next to a space heater.

Typing the word cold so many times, it looks so odd. I may have to look it up. Am I spelling it correctly. What an odd word with so many meanings.

The word cold is included in so many idioms: 

Catch a cold, in cold blood, in from the cold and left out in the cold.

And I'm starting to sound like Andy Rooney. I have no clever way of ending this, so we'll see where the letter D takes me tomorrow.

B Is For Bully

Bullying is a hot topic. It perks my interest when I hear or see it written. Bullying has been a part of my life.```

I bullied a girl in grade school.

I was bullied as a child.

My child was bullied.

The girl I bullied: My entire fourth grade class identified 'Judy' as a girl who looked different from the rest of us. She was overweight and her hair was very curly. I am too ashamed to spell out the cruelty we bestowed on her. She had a tough time overside the bounds of her nurturing home. Judy had two loving, adoring parents. One day my Mom and I went over to Judy's house for a visit. Judy showed me her bedroom. To my astonishment, the walls were entirely covered with hand-painted murals done by her father who had been a Disney artist. Snow White, Cinderella and other Disney characters graced her walls. They were magnificent. In Judy's home and extraordinary bedroom, she was safe from the daily torture she received in the classroom and playground.

I was bullied at the same time by my Catholic neighbors. We were the only Jews on a block where St. Margaret Mary's Church and School graced end of the street. I was left out a lot by my crafty older Catholic neighborhood pals. This would climax with a massive game of hide-and-seek at dusk where the entire gang would hide in a far remote impossible location. I would walk home and enjoy the private oasis of my bedroom. So Judy and I had more than a little commonality.

My child was bullied by boys who understood that my son was not a jock and was easy pickings. In fifth grade I met with the Principal to discuss this. She told me: have him stand up straighter and walk with more confidence. She advised we not call him by his nickname, but by his given name. Of course this advice was all crap. He was who he was and she did not address the issue of bullying.

And now bullying is a daily topic. All forms of media discuss it on a variety of levels and major public figures address it and the topic is now in the forefront. Bullying is bad behavior and discussing it will make a positive change.

And then there is the 2012 Presidential Campaign. It has always annoyed me that candidates put each other down instead of selling us on their own virtues. And the media hatred spewed by the likes of Rush Limbaugh. And the gossip columns. Is this not a form of bullying accepted by society?

Bullying may be a primitive form of behavior. And yet we live in a civilized society. We are not animals. Discussing bullying and looking back into our own childhoods will make us kinder, gentler. I think of Judy now and know that in all our own little private bedroom oasis, we are all the same. The same pain, the same need to be loved and to love.

A is For April

A is For April

Today the sun shines bringing forth the joy of spring. Outside my door baby birds are tweeting, buds are ripening into fruit and flowers. Spring, the time of rebirth and new beginnings.

Emerging from the darkness of winter, our days are filled with more light and aliveness.

My desire to create has renewed energy.

How many ways can I express myself?

Crocheting, quilting, photography.

How many ways can I enrich myself?
Reading books, museums, lectures, movies, provocative radio and TV shows, lively discussions with my brilliant friends.

How many ways can I express my gratitude and give back?
Quilts of Valor, youth advocate, community activist, calling a friend to check on their health, being present and loving to family and friends.

April is full of promise and light.

Today, the first of April, brings unseen joy and light.

I embrace her and wrap myself in all her promises.

Halloween Therapy

October is the busiest month for the Salvation Army and Goodwill Industries. Everyone knows they are the perfect place to pick up items for your Halloween costume.

And how do I know this? I know this because my friend was the chief creative director for the Goodwill account and I've seen his ads which spoke to this October boom.

I have taken to visiting the Salvation Army thrift shop, or SalVay as my daughter calls it. My purpose is to find clothes in the colors and textures I'm looking for to creative multi-media collages with. The other day I had a need for green and so off I went. As I headed to the men's green t-shirt section, I heard a loud conversation. There was an attractive middle-aged woman speaking into a small microphone attached to her cell phone. Not only was she speaking loudly, while methodically browsing through every t-shirt in the men's black t-shirt section, but it sounded as though she was delivering a psychotherapy session at the same time. “I need you to” and “when you are feeling _____, you need to...” and so on. It may have been a therapy session or was she a psychic giving a reading? It was definitely some new age chatter or some psycho babble. I am fully onboard with both of those genres, but while shopping at the Salvay? If it were a therapy session, how is she able to concentrate on what she is saying, and have it be meaningful or credible while looking at thrift shop t-shirts? I mean even if she was shopping at Nordstroms, would I want my therapist to be multi-tasking (a.k.a. Shopping) while helping to heal me?

I know I should be minding my own business. I know very well I should not comment on strangers' behavior unless it's in my face. I walked away once. And then she was back in my earshot and I said: “Are you giving therapy in the Salvation Army?” She lovingly looked up at me and said: “I'm talking to my 15 year old daughter.”

OK, so she was counseling her daughter while shopping. So what? Everyone is very busy right? How nice that she cares enough about her daughter to counsel her. And how nice that she can multi-task.

I think this is more a statement on our culture than anything else. Does this story qualify as a Nut Magnet story? Yes and no. Yes in that our society is so nutty in how cell phones have become a third arm or sixth sense. People have integrated them into their lives in such an intrinsic way. And no in that trying to communicate with your teenage daughter, is perfectly normal.

Bagel Nut

Before stopping in for bagels, I had picked up some 50% off holiday gift wrap next door. I entered the bagel shop with my gift wrap and placed my order. As I waited for my order, a plain starry-eyed woman commented on my gift wrap. I told her I had purchased it for 50% off and would be keeping it for next year's charity gift wrapping party for a pediatric unit. Oh that made her starry eyes perk up. From there the conversation went to how 'that's what it's all about.' She told me that everyday we wake up and the earth is still spinning around and that's what it's all about. Uh huh I said. And then she brought up Michael Jackson. And he was all about love and she had seen his postmortem movie 'This Is It' two times. And how in the movie he said Love and maybe he really knew what it was all about all along and how he might have been put on this earth.....not sure what she said next. I was looking at her eyes and her clothes and her demeanor and trying to ascertain if she was a nun. I was aware that she was not really finishing a thought or a sentence, but her twinkly eyes were enough completion.
Later at dinner I told my husband and son about Ms. Twinkle Eyes. My son was laughing and shaking his head. "How do you find these people? I never would have let her get the first sentence out, I would have been outta there."
Honestly, I am not seeking them out. Perhaps I'm all about listening. Give 'em enough rope and the nut parade starts all on its own.